April 2010
5 posts
6 tags
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Quanta: Kefka’s right-hand stooge.
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Tevatron: A robotic pair of sports sandals.
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Exotic Mesons: What Caucasian mesons call Asian mesons due to latent racism.
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Quantum Vacuum: The world’s smallest vacuum, made by Hoover.
Quantum Violin: The world’s smallest violin, and it plays a sad song for you.
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Bare Assertion Fallacy: The fallacious belief that an assertion is more true if made while naked.
March 2010
65 posts
5 tags
Nicolas Steno: Inventor of the steno pad.
Law of Superposition: The law stating that writing follows a time sequence; therefore, the writing on the top of a steno pad is older than the writing on the bottom.
Principle of Original Horizontality: The principle that even if writing starts to rainbow, it was originally meant to be horizontal.
Principle of Lateral Continuity: To help facilitate...
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Boils Law: The law stating that boiling food over time leads to increased mushiness.
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Utopianist: Someone who plays the utopiano.
Unintentional inspiration credit goes to rzinz.
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Zoology: The science of building zoos.
Anthrozoology: The science of building zoos filled with humans.
Paleozoology: The science of building zoos filled with dinosaurs.
Cryptozoology: The science of building zoos filled with zombies.
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Domain: .com
Kingdom: tumblog
Phylum: html
Class: Science
Order: Humor
Family: Redefinition
Genus: Beautiful
Species: Theories
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iRobot: A series of robots being developed by Apple Inc that will be used as Steve Job’s private army in his bid to take over the world.
Isaac Asimov: The lead designer and inventor of the iRobot.
First Law of Robotics: A robot may injure any human being or, through eye-lasers, burn any human being to a crisp; unless that human is Steve Jobs.
Second Law of Robotics: A robot must obey any...
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Science Fiction: A sub-genre of fiction that depicts dramatizations of historical moments in science.
For example, here is an excerpt from the 1993 NY Times bestseller Massive Energy:
He could taste the chalk dust on his parched lips. Every muscle in his body was tense. His eyes slowly traced the numbers before him as he ran the calculations in his head one more time. With an audible exhale,...
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From rzinz:
just wanted to say that your tumblr is one of my favorite
ever
Thank you so much! That completely made my day.
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Corneille:Viens
So, I was going to do that 30 day...
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Physics: The scientific exploration of what Olivia Newton-John meant when she sang, “Let’s get physical.”
Agrophysics: The study of how anger impacts getting physical.
Biophysics: The study of getting physical’s impact on life.
Materials Physics: The study of what materials are necessary to get physical.
Vehicle Dynamics: The study of how vehicles alter the act of...
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Seismology: Spanish for: six mologies.
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Stellar Astronomy: No, seriously, that’s some damn good astronomy.
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Sunday Portmanteau
Zombocalypse - The impending zombie apocalypse.
Zomnibus - A collection of works of art about zombies. (special thanks to Ben)
I love portmanteaus, so I’ve decided to dedicate a little time on Sundays to celebrate the portmanteau.
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Plank Speed: Pirate physicist Blackbody noted that the optimal speed for a ‘mutinous cur’ to maintain while walking the plank so that they reach maximum fear upon taking the plunge is 0.314 meters per second. This is derived from dividing Plank Length by Plank Time.
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Plank Time: Pirate physicist Blackbody noted that the amount of fear one has while walking the plank grows exponentially over time. Blackbody concluded that the optimal amount of time a ‘mutinous cur’ should spend on the plank is 10 seconds. The time is noted for allowing a high amount of fear while minimizing time for cowardly pleas for forgiveness.
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Plank Unit: Pirate physicist Blackbody’s unit of measure for the amount of fear a ‘mutinous cur’ has while walking the plank.
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Bracketology: The pseudo-scientific belief that the layout of one’s NCAA tournament bracket predictions will provide detail into how the next year of that person’s life will unfold.
Bracketonomy: The scientific study of the constituent teams and processes that make up the NCAA tournament bracket.
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Argumentum Ad Nauseam: A logical argument so fallacious it instantly causes your opponent to vomit.
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Cernan: A slang title for the last person to leave a building. Having its roots in Slovakian, it is most often used to honor the last person to stop drinking after last call.
Unintentional inspiration credit goes to space and stuff, idk.
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The Carl Sagan Medal: A currently unassigned award for the first person who can actually make an apple pie from scratch by first creating a universe.
The Carl Sagan Memorial Award: A currently unassigned award for the first person who can recite the names of billions and billions of stars from memory.
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Mediocrity Principle: The principle stating that at any given moment, any given workplace will be dominated by mediocrity.
Fermi Paradox: The paradoxical state, observed by Enrico Fermi, that a recurrence of excellence should be commonplace due to the shear number of people working on any given day; however, this isn’t observed.
Drake Equation: The mathematical equation M=mt. Derived from...
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Gene Flow: A hit song from the Irish singer Enya. It is best known for its chorus: “Migrate away. Migrate away. Migrate away.”
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Straw Man Argument: A logically fallacious argument attacking your opponent’s position based on the fact that they don’t have a brain.
Tin Man Argument: A logically fallacious argument attacking your opponent’s position based on the fact that they don’t have a heart.
Cowardly Lion Argument: A logically fallacious argument attacking your opponent’s position based on...
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Update: I decided to change my theme. I’m not entirely sure why, I just wanted a change.
Also, a little reminder that you are always free to submit your own beautiful theories.
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Buys Ballots’ Law: The law that the person who spends the most gets the most votes.
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Divine Nonchalance: The snub God gives to the team that loses the Superbowl.
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Pi(e) Law of Universal Gravitation: Your attractiveness to other people is directly proportional to how many decimals out you can recite pi and inversely proportional to how many pies you can eat in 20 minutes.
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Plank Length: Pirate physicist Blackbody speculated that the ideal length for a plank to elicit fear from a ‘mutinous cur’ was 3.14 meters.
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150 followers! It’s a Pi Day Miracle!
WOOT! Science Rampage!
Thanks everyone!
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Alimony: Having to pay all the money awarded during a divorce.
Parsimony: Having to pay only part of the money awarded during a divorce.
Occam’s Razor: The device used to divide an estate during a divorce.
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Beer-Lambert Law: The law that a drunk Adam Lambert would be a messy, if not entertaining sight.
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Chemistry: An attraction between two people.
Organic Chemistry: An attraction between two people that develops naturally through occasional interactions.
Inorganic Chemistry: An attraction between two people that develops under the influence of beer and involves a lot of fake complements.
Physical Chemistry: An attraction between two people that develops purely for sexual gratification.
Click...
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Baconian Method: A popular method of weight loss that centers on making all healthy foods smell and taste like bacon so as to make them more enjoyable to eat.
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Plank’s Law: Pirate physicist Blackbody’s rule that you either serve the captain or you walk the plank.
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Kepler’s First Law of Planet Hollywood Motion: The restaurants are always elliptical with a focus on Hollywood’s ego.
Kepler’s Second Law of Planet Hollywood Motion: The path from the bathroom to your table will always lead you past the gift shop.
Kepler’s Third Law of Planet Hollywood Motion: The size of your party is directly proportional to the amount of expensive swag...
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Happy Birthday Mom!
55 and still rocking!
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Dualism Theory: The theory that anything beneficial in espionage is also beneficial for sex in public.
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Mechatronics Engineering: Relating to the creation of Battle Mechs. Also known as making badass fucking robots.
Unintentional inspiration credit to stefany, whose current field of study is a top level Ninja-esque on the Awesomeness Scale.
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Murphy’s Law: Whichever part of your basement has carpet shall be the first to take on water.
The first submitted beautiful theory. Thank you very much herownimage.
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Big Bang Theory: The theory that the most important experience in a person’s life is losing his/her virginity.
Steady State Theory: The theory that if a person has a steady flow of beer and sex in his/her life, s/he will do everything in his/her power to maintain the status quo.
Panspermia: Get your mind out of the gutter. I’m talking science.
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Lady GaGa’s Law of Universal Gravitation: Lady GaGa’s choice of attire is directly proportional to the clothing’s trampy tackiness and inversely proportional to its humble austerity.
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Descartes’ First Rule of Nature: You do not talk about nature.
Descartes’ Second Rule of Nature: You do not talk about nature.
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Theory of Evolution: The Taoist concept epitomized by the saying, “A journey of a thousand speciations begins with a single mutation.”
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75 followers! It’s like a comic book milestone where you get the 75th issue, and it’s a double sized 64-page spectacular.
Thanks everyone!